The storm has passed and the dust has settled. The dogs and I are enjoying the eerie silence that occurs after a mini-tornado rips through the house.
No, we didn’t have a real tornado, but let tell you, when my teenagers are trying to leave the house in a hurry….it’s like a tornado.
If you have read my blog before, you know that I have teenagers. One is 17 and the other will be 14 in four days.
I could write an entire book about raising teenagers…and that just covering stuff that’s happened within the last week. Truly.
Now, I don’t mean to sound like my kids are trouble. They’re not. They are good kids. It’s just the constantly flurry of activity and the natural order of growing up that I’m talking about.
So, what does a teenager tornado sound like?? I will tell you…
I’m laying in bed enjoying the wonderful, rare, silence that occurs when everyone is asleep.
And then I hear an alarm. Beds start squeaking and bathroom doors start rattling. I can feel a storm coming.
I look at the clock and realize… they need to hurry.
I get up. All I can see of teenager #2 is her hair and feet sticking out from under her covers. She is like me and NOT a morning person. I tell her “if she doesn’t get up now, she’s not going” and she responds with “fine, I’m not going”. I leave the room, because I know my job is done and she’s now awake.
By this time teenager #1 is brushing his teeth and “ironing” his shirt in the dryer.
Teenager #2 realizes that she really does want to go, gets out of bed, and needs the bathroom (she wakes up grumpy).
The storm clouds are really churning at this point.
She starts pounding on the door. Her brother doesn’t care that she needs in the bathroom. I have to intervene. He opens the door and gives his sister an ornery smile.
By now Teen #1 is starting to think about breakfast. His actual words to me are “Mom..I’m so hungry that I’m literally starving to death”. Now as a mom of this particular teenager, these words don’t have much effect on me because I hear them every hour of the day. I tell him to eat a bowl of cereal. He looks at me like I’ve gone completely crazy.
He complains that he doesn’t want cereal and that there isn’t any food in the fridge. *Any food that I buy that can be consumed without prep work is usually gone in a day or two.
He decides on chocolate milk.
This is the gift he left for me on the kitchen table.
In his search for any kind of food that he can just gobble down, he opens every kitchen cabinet. I have picture proof.
While teen #1 is rummaging through the cabinets, teen #2 is in a full blown panic attack over wearing either jeans or shorts.
I tell them they have to leave NOW…
They rush out…slamming the doors.
The dogs look at me…I look back at the dogs. We think the storm has passed.
Suddenly teen #2 rushes back in the door to change from shorts to jeans. Her brother is honking his horn from the driveway.
The dogs look at me with their “will this moment ever end” faces.
Finally, out she goes for the second time.
The dogs and I are in this weird moment where we are holding our breath and looking at each other to see what else could possibly happen.
And then I hear teen #1’s truck go down the road.
Both dogs drop their heads onto a pillow and exhale loudly.
All I can hear is the whirl of the ceiling fan.
The tornado has passed. *At least until it arrives again about 2:00pm.
I’m sitting here feeling a little guilty over my exuberant feelings of being home all day by myself.
And just for the record…my adult child left the house this morning without making a single sound.
And that is all….